Monday, February 07, 2005
The Super Bowl commercials were awful, terrible, boring and a waste of money. Corporate clients should be demanding refunds from the advertising agencies that produced these forgettable adverts.
The Galvin Opinion reviewed all commercials that aired during Fox's Super Bowl telecast. Commercials were judged on entertainment value, intended effect, support of product, memorable impressions and quality of production. Almost all commercials failed tonight. I cannot remember a Super Bowl with so many dull, boring, uninspired commercials. Commercials were rated on a 1-10 scale.
Anheuser Busch, "Honoring Our Troops": This was a simple, sincere, heart-felt commercial (despite beer company trying to improve its p.r. image). Everyone in the country had a lump in their throat when they saw the troops getting applause in the airport.
NFL Network, "Thinking about Tomorrow": This was fun. Notice that Peyton Manning didn't appear; he's really depressed about losing to the Patriots. Seriously.
MasterCard, "Perfect pitchmen": The "priceless" add campaign commemorates the most memorable commercial characters. Nice work on an inside joke that we all get.
Bud Light "Sky Diving": Funny ad, but not hilarious. It was predictable. The Above Average group is very thin, so this sneaks in.
Score: 7/10 (This one won USA Today's famous annual survey)
Ameriquest, "Costly Mistake": Okay, this was pretty funny but predictable. Store owners thought they were being robbed by the guy talking via cell phone.
Score: 6/10 thanks to cartoon-like violence.
Ameriquest, "Bad Kitty": A tee-hee and haha, if you will.
Diet Pepsi "Popular Truck": You know when they made this commercial that they told P. Diddy/Puff Daddy/Sean Combs that this would be the commercial that everyone would be talking about. It even appeared twice. Which meant more Carson Daly. Another other year and this wouldn't even be considered.
Score: 5/10 (Carson Daly makes it a 4)
Diet Pepsi, "Staying Alive": I don't even remember this ad except for the song. I must have been thinking about my about-to-be devoured chicken wings.
Score: 5/10 for a commercial I don't even remember. That kind of night, ugh.
Where do we begin? The car commercials are so pedestrian and boiler plate that it's not worth it spending so much money. Viewers are on the lookout for memorable commercials so car ads are merely viewed as filler. Advertisements for movies are even worse. If you want to make viewers want to see your movie, you have to provide a great hook. Steven Spielberg's and Tom Cruise's "War of the Worlds" didn't' seem that enticing. The only movie ad that worked during a Super Bowl was the one for "Independence Day" because we all went "oooh and ahhh" when we saw the White House get blown up by a spaceship.
Bubblicious, "LeBron's Lemonade": What's next, Air Gum?
FedEx/Kinko's "Top 10": On second thought, it was a waste. A bear, woop-dee-do.
Go Daddy: That dumb girl twirling around. Nothing funny about it, yawn.
Frito Lay, "Hammer Time" : What do parachute pants have to do with Fritos?
Diana Pearl, "Marble is for Men": The '85 Chicago Bears and Dennis Rodman. What was that all about? What, Mr. T wasn't available??
Heineken, "Paparazzi": Poor Brad Pitt. Jennifer Aniston dumped him and he can't get a beer in peace. Every blue-collar football fan understands his plight.
Ford, "Frozen Mustang": This commercial aired so many times I thought I was watching "Weekend at Bernies VI". Someone spent at least $7.2 to show that awful ad!
McDonald's, "Famous Fries": The Abraham Lincoln french fry; don't even get me started on this one.
All in all, the 2005 Super Bowl commercials were atrocious. We saw monkeys but not enough Clydesdales. We saw more of Burt Reynolds than Cindy Crawford. We saw a Ford Mustang convertible in the frozen tundra 3 times but never saw it in the California sun. We saw commercials for movies that no one will ever see. We saw car commercials that were more suitable for "Wheel of Fortune". There was no Bud Bowl. There was no catchy jingle. There was no memorable phrase, not even an annoying one.
But, we did get to thank our troops and that was good enough for me.
USA Today: Super Bowl XXXIX 17th Annual Ad Meter, Anheuser-Busch still king of ads as marketers play it safe By Bruce Horovitz, USA TODAY
FoxSports.com: Ad watch: Tracking Super Bowl commercials
USA TODAY: Super Bowl XXXIX 17th Annual Ad Meter, How the Ads ranked
10 most popular
Company Description Score
Anheuser-Busch Pilot jumps out of plane for six-pack of Bud Light after skydiver refuses. 8.65
Ameriquest Mortgage Store customer's cell phone chat misunderstood to be robbery. 8.06
Anheuser-Busch American troops get standing ovation thank you at airport. 7.94
CareerBuilder.com Guy in boardroom won't kiss-up to monkey boss — but one monkey does. 7.86
CareerBuilder.com Guy sits on whoopee cushion as prankster monkey colleagues laugh. 7.81
CareerBuilder.com Guy can't get work done because he works with a bunch of monkeys. 7.77
Anheuser-Busch Guy at game sees cell phone photo of his girl at home with another guy. 7.71
Ameriquest Mortgage Romantic dinner goes awry after cat knocks over spaghetti sauce. 7.67
Emerald Nuts Nut-loving dad takes grief from unicorn, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. 7.61
Pepsi Cindy Crawford, other women eye handsome Diet Pepsi drinker. 7.54
Other Blogs commenting are: Myopic Zeal, Right Thoughts, Unabrewer, Backcountry Conservative, Speed of Thought, Wizbang, Small Victory, Prof Bainbridge, Small Business Branding, The American Mind, Hyku Blog, Minnesota Public Relations, In the Bullpen, Michelle Malkin, Tempus Fugit and Ramblings Journal.